This Is For The Boys Who Want To Be Men

Okay I am not an expert by any means, but I have a good deal of life experience. As a strong, independent woman, there are a few things that just aren’t okay when looking for a significant other.

Here is a bit of advice from a 29-year-old lady who has dated a few duds…

Grow up. Women do not want a man-child. Peter Pan is not a role model. Learn to take care of a house. Wash your clothes, cook things on the stove (not the microwave), and for heaven’s sake, please clean your house!!!

Make us feel like we’re important. Include us in big life decisions, bring us a single red rose because you saw it and thought of me.. Ask my best friend for advice on gifts if you can’t think of anything to get for my birthday. Just make me feel important to you.

Wear shoes. I know this seems silly, and maybe it’s just me, but don’t wear plastic flip flops unless you are at the beach, running errands in the heat, or are a professional surfer. I like a man to wear shoes. If you must wear flip flops, invest in a leather pair. $2 plastic shoes just don’t cut it.

Show me you’re a gentleman. Open doors for me, pull out my chair, walk on the street side of the side walk.. We DO notice those little things. They count.

Don’t act jealous or possessive. Jealousy is a big turn off and it’s juvenile. We are both adults and if I am in a relationship with you, I am not going to be lured away by another man. For me, I’m a musician and I perform. Lots of guys AND GIRLS come up to talk to me after a show. Don’t act all possessive when that happens. It’s extremely off-putting. As the first wive’s club says “You Don’t Own Me”.

These are just a few thoughts and suggestions.. Do you have any major “no-no’s”?

 

The Importance of Feeling Important

I have a lot of experience feeling unimportant. I can’t even count the number of people who have dropped out of my life because of this. I hate the feeling of being set aside. I am selfish with my close friendships / relationships. Not always, but I want occasional alone time. I want quality time spent together. Maybe that’s a problem, but that is what I need. Quality time is my love language.

This happened with my best friend from high school. We went to the same college and continued to go to the same church. It should have been an easy transition. I noticed a change maybe two years into college. She never called me anymore. I was the one contacting her constantly and trying to make plans, but they would always fall through. Eventually, I stopped calling, and she never called. Now she’s a stranger to me.

This also happened with a guy I used to date. He never included me in important conversations. We would make plans to talk or get together and his friends would come along or he wouldn’t show. I didn’t feel a part of his life.

What is the point of this post? Well, being on the unimportant end of so many friendships, this is what I have to say:

Make a point to have a give and take relationship. If you notice that you’re never the person to make plans or you never call, maybe you should step up or you may lose a friend. If you realize you’re the giver, take a step back. People who want to be in your life will be there.

If you’re on the receiving end, what I say to you, is try to find your importance on your own. Know that you ARE important and if those around you don’t appreciate your importance, then you deserve better people in your life.

These are just my thoughts.. I dealt with this subject just last week, so it’s feeling a bit fresh.