I Hate Bouquet Tosses

wedding-bouquet-ideas-stems-wrapped-in-burlapI am a wedding musician and have been to around 250 weddings. For the majority of them I am just background music, and I don’t mind it, but I really don’t like just attending weddings anymore.I need something to do. I’d rather be a bridesmaid than just attend. Give me something to do! ANYTHING!

Being single at a wedding is just painful. Everyone is coupled up and if you aren’t part of a couple, you get put at the dreaded singles table with other uncomfortable strangers. You spend the entire reception rolling your eyes at couples “dancing” (I put that in quotes because it’s pretty much just swaying to music) and you keep checking your phone to see if you can leave yet. You also get those people who haven’t seen you in a while asking if you brought a date. Or, even worse, “Oh, have you met so and so? He’s here alone too!” Gag.

I would recommend bringing a girlfriend to the next wedding you have to attend. Who says that the “and guest” has to be a man? It’s so much more fun going with your best friend. You have someone you trust to talk to, someone you can talk to about how ugly the bridesmaid dresses are, someone to judge the food with, and someone to drive you home if you visit the bar a few too many times. Heck, you even have someone to dance with. (No awkward swaying dances for me, no thank you.) Also, you have someone to fend off strange guys who you definitely don’t want to dance with.

Anyways.. Back to the subject of this post –  I hate bouquet tosses.bridal-bouquet-toss-femalesLook how silly they look. (I can say this because I’ve been one of them too many times to count.)

Bouquet tosses are just a reason to round up the “available” women like cattle and laugh over who is the most desperate to catch the bouquet so they can be the next one to get married. Do you know how many bouquets I’ve caught? At least 7 that I can think of. Am I married? No. Bouquet tosses are a stupid tradition. If I ever get married, I won’t do one. It’s kind of humiliating. My suggestion is to skip the bouquet toss at the next wedding you attend. Hide in the back of the crowd so you don’t get called out. It’s a silly superstition and it doesn’t work (not that I would want it to).

Do you have any wedding pet peeves? Any tips for getting through a wedding as a single lady?

And here is a terrible picture of me when I was in my early twenties in a terrible dress catching the dreaded bouquet. You’re welcome.
ugh.jpgIt does not need to be any bigger.