Inappropriate Conversations

July 29, 2019Leave a comment

Or, alternate title, THINGS YOU SHOULD NOT ASK SOMEONE WHO YOU HAVEN’T SEEN IN YEARS.

Last month, I was sitting in my chiropractor’s office when I hear someone say, “Katy?” I look up and it is a woman who I haven’t seen in maybe 10 years or so? She wasn’t even someone I knew very well. Her daughter went to school with my younger brothers. Basically, this woman is an acquaintance who I hadn’t seen in forever. ANYWAYS, I respond with the “oh hi!” that comes out when you’re not expecting to talk to someone and don’t want to have a long conversation. The first question that comes out of her mouth (I KID YOU NOT) is, “Did you get married?” The smile instantly comes off my face and I give her a short, “No.” She fumbles about seeing a ring on my finger (it was a silver ring on my right hand?) and I fake smile as I go in for my adjustment, not saying another word.

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Why was this the first question? This is SO inappropriate. Why don’t people understand this? Maybe I’m the only person that feels this way, but I legit get offended when the first question out of someone’s mouth is “are you dating anybody”, or “are you seeing anyone”, or “are you married yet?”. Like having a significant other would be the most interesting thing about me. I have so many interesting things about me that I would love to talk about other than my freaking relationship status.
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Just, if you see someone who you haven’t seen in a while, ask them a general “how’s life?” or “what’s new with you?” DON’T ASK ME ABOUT MY RELATIONSHIP STATUS. It makes me very angry.
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Do any of you deal with this as well? LMK in the comments.

An Unexpected Journey

May 29, 2019May 29, 20191 Comment

If I had to title my adult life, it would definitely be An Unexpected Journey [I mean, it’s a true statement, and I mean, Tolkien..].

You see, over the past couple of weeks I have been reflecting on the last decade of my life. I’ve been reflecting because I just celebrated my 10 year anniversary of graduating COLLEGE. Whoa. It feels like it was a completely different life, and back then, I imagined a completely different life for myself. Continue reading →

Bridging the Gap

July 10, 2018July 10, 2018Leave a comment

I know I talk a lot about friends I’ve lost after they got married. [Exhibit A] Well, there are a select few friends (who I can count them on one hand with a couple of fingers to spare) where this did not happen. Here are a few things that I think helped “bridge the gap”, at least for me..

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Limit Couple Talk – Now, don’t get me wrong. I absolutely want to hear about how your life is going. I’m not some weirdo who only wants to talk about things we have in common. BUT, limit the couple talk. Don’t spend the entire time we’re together talking about couple things. I am not in a couple nor do I live with a man. I cannot relate.
Ask About My Life – This sounds simple, but you’d be surprised how many times I have spent time with people and all they do is talk about themselves. (Of course this happens with single people too.) These type of people never ask questions, and they always interrupt you with something (“my horse is bigger than your horse”). This is a relationship – give and take.
Do Things That You’ve Always Done – Okay, I’m not sure if this one makes sense (the title anyways), but what I mean is continue to do things together that you did before the marriage. If you went to dinner and a bookstore every other Tuesday night, continue to do that! Or if you met for brunch once a month, keep it up. Keep the relationship going.
Don’t Try To Set Me Up – Ugh this is the worst. I am sooooo tired of people trying to set me up with so and so. It’s always awkward and never works out. Just be okay with the fact that I don’t have a somebody at the moment.

These are just a few things that I’ve noticed that work for me. Did I miss anything? Would you add anything else? Let me know in the comments!

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Disney World – Solo Style

June 27, 2018June 26, 2018Leave a comment

chipndale For those who don’t know me, it is a little known fact (just kidding everyone knows) that I am a bit obsessed with all things Disney. I love it so much that I decided to become a Disney World annual passholder last year. And I have totally gotten my money’s worth out of it. A couple of weeks ago, I was needing to get away so I decided to take a little trip by myself to Disney World. Now, it may be a bit weird to some people – heck it was a bit weird to most of the castmembers when I replied with “one” to the question “How many?”, but I had so much fun! There were a couple of times that I wished someone was there with me, but for the most part, I had a blast!

Here are some of the best things about going to Disney World alone:

Getting Through Crowds – It’s amazing how many people can fit into the Disney Parks. It’s also miserable trying to cut through them. But, when you’re alone, you can move SO MUCH FASTER. You never have to look back to see if your friends are keeping up with you. One night I went to the fireworks show at Epcot, and ended up being one of the first ones to the parking lot trams because I was able to weave in and out of people so quickly. It was actually fun. Ha.
Rides – Now, it isn’t the most enjoyable experience waiting in lines by yourself. I ended up skipping rides that had waits that were longer than 30-45 minutes. A lot of the time, castmembers will call out for “single riders” and you end up getting to skip a bunch of people to get to the front. (Also, Avatar: Flight Of Passage has a single rider line, once you get to the final waiting area.)
Rest – If you’ve ever been to Disney World, you know how exhausting it can be. What’s great about being there solo, is that I can go back to my hotel around 2:00 in the afternoon, rest up for a couple of hours, and go back to the parks refreshed (this is also a big perk of being a passholder) without feeling guilty that I made anyone miss out on any fun.
Food – This one’s pretty simple.. Food is much quicker for one person and it’s easier to find a place to sit and eat.

That’s all I have for now. Have any of you ever been to Disney by yourself? Would this be something you would ever consider? Let me know in the comments!
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House Hunting

February 20, 2017February 20, 2017Leave a comment

So as evidenced by the title of this blog, I am a single lady. Now, I love being a single lady. I love my freedom and my life in general. Yeah, sometimes I get bummed about not having a plus one, but I have lady friends for that!

Anyways, all that being said, it’s never been as frustrating being a single lady as I have found it to be trying to buy a house. And no, I don’t mean the advantage of having a second income. I mean, I have to give up lots of houses because the location is not safe for a woman to live there by herself, which is super sucky.

I wish I didn’t have to say no to houses I love because I don’t have a man to protect me. Ugh. I’m having to look in neighborhoods with mostly old people or cookie cutter houses because they have a connected a garage. What is a girl to do?!

emma-stone-making-noise-bored-at-the-dinner-table-in-easy-a-gif I know that I will find the right house eventually, but right now it’s super frustrating. Anyone else ever run across this life problem?

xxKaty

Single’s Awareness Day

February 13, 2017Leave a comment

Here we are again, another year, another Valentine’s Day, another reason to roll your eyes. giphy

Call me a cynic, but I am so over Valentine’s Day. The last time I had a romantic V-Day, was in 2010. I used to be a romantic, heck, maybe I still am a little bit, but I’ve been dumped on V-Day and I’ve been sorely disappointed on V-day.

Past Katy would have been all “why oh why am I still single?!”. Current Katy is “life is good and I am going to be awesome and single.”

So, here we are at another one, and gosh darn-it, I am going to have a fabulous day. Why is it going to be fabulous? Well, because I am spending it with my best friend. We will watch the Hobbit and drink wine and eat lots of food and chocolate. It’s great having a best friend to be your standing date. She’s got my back and I don’t even have to wear makeup.

So here’s to you, single ladies. Don’t stress out about not having someone on the “most romantic day of the year”. q8y5v_s-200x150 Just ignore it or do something fun with your girlfriend(s). And hit up the chocolate sales on February 15th.

Thirty, Flirty, and Thriving

December 7, 2016December 7, 2016Leave a comment

I’ve wanted to say that ever since 13 Going On 30 came out. 635741977860104042940415133_thirty

Well, I am officially 30. I no longer fall into the “under 30 group” or the “in their twenties” group. I am bona fide grown up now. You know how people make those “30 things to do before you’re 30” lists? I didn’t have one. But I think I like the idea of a “30 things to do while you’re 30” list. I’ll get on that.

Okay, enough rambling about turning 30.. I guess I’m writing so I can process life. I recently got home from the most amazing trip of my life. I went to New Zealand, by myself, for 20 days (minus 2 of those days in Australia and a day that got lost over the Pacific). I don’t really know how to begin to describe what that trip did for me. Now, I’m back in America and everything seems a bit duller. Don’t get me wrong, I am very thankful for my life and everything, but I think I left a part of myself back in New Zealand.

Lake Pukaki, New Zealand

I took a Lord of the Rings tour. I know that makes me a huge nerd, but I do not regret it one bit. The scenery was incredible, the people were amazing, and I walked away with 32 new friends who were a part of my “Fellowship”. If you’re thinking of going to New Zealand, I cannot recommend Red Carpet Tours enough.

Bag-End!

Life has a funny way of not turning out how you planned. I used to think that 30 was when you should be “settled down” with a husband and a couple of kids. While that actually is the case in most of my old friends’ lives, mine couldn’t be farther from the norm, and I love it. I get to see the world. I get to spend my money on myself and just enjoy my life. I have a cat, and she is enough for me.

So, if you’re like me, turning 30 and surrounded by couples and babies, don’t fret. Life is good. Find joy in the small things (and the big ones).

Here’s to 30!
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On Jealousies…

May 13, 2016May 18, 2016Leave a comment

Recently, I was notified that a friend’s ex-girlfriend hated me and was jealous of me because I performed on stage with my violin. First, I never even met this girl. Second, playing the violin is not something that came easy or naturally. I have worked on learning this complicated instrument for 24 years. I have cried over it, I’ve almost quit, I’ve loved and hated it, I missed out on things growing up because of it, but I have WORKED for it. That is not something to be jealous of. If you want to perform with an instrument, then I suggest you spend most of your life with lessons and hard work and learn one yourself.

resize It is NEVER okay to put down other women because you are insecure or jealous of them. I know we all have our insecurities, but it is not making you a better person for putting down another. It is hard enough out there being a *single* woman without others putting you down.

Stop aspiring to be someone else. I know that I can never be a supermodel because I stopped growing at 5′ 3″ when I was 15. I know that I don’t have six pack abs like Kiera Knightley because I don’t do sit ups or work out or have a personal trainer. Don’t try to be someone who you cannot ever be. It is setting yourself up for failure and heartache.

How about when we start to feel jealous, we find something about ourselves that we love. We are all unique and it’s time we start loving ourselves and each other.

This Is For The Boys Who Want To Be Men

April 14, 2016April 15, 2016Leave a comment

Okay I am not an expert by any means, but I have a good deal of life experience. As a strong, independent woman, there are a few things that just aren’t okay when looking for a significant other.

Here is a bit of advice from a 29-year-old lady who has dated a few duds…

Grow up. Women do not want a man-child. Peter Pan is not a role model. Learn to take care of a house. Wash your clothes, cook things on the stove (not the microwave), and for heaven’s sake, please clean your house!!!

Make us feel like we’re important. Include us in big life decisions, bring us a single red rose because you saw it and thought of me.. Ask my best friend for advice on gifts if you can’t think of anything to get for my birthday. Just make me feel important to you.

Wear shoes. I know this seems silly, and maybe it’s just me, but don’t wear plastic flip flops unless you are at the beach, running errands in the heat, or are a professional surfer. I like a man to wear shoes. If you must wear flip flops, invest in a leather pair. $2 plastic shoes just don’t cut it.

Show me you’re a gentleman. Open doors for me, pull out my chair, walk on the street side of the side walk.. We DO notice those little things. They count.

Don’t act jealous or possessive. Jealousy is a big turn off and it’s juvenile. We are both adults and if I am in a relationship with you, I am not going to be lured away by another man. For me, I’m a musician and I perform. Lots of guys AND GIRLS come up to talk to me after a show. Don’t act all possessive when that happens. It’s extremely off-putting. As the first wive’s club says “You Don’t Own Me”.