I have a lot of experience feeling unimportant. I can’t even count the number of people who have dropped out of my life because of this. I hate the feeling of being set aside. I am selfish with my close friendships / relationships. Not always, but I want occasional alone time. I want quality time spent together. Maybe that’s a problem, but that is what I need. Quality time is my love language.
This happened with my best friend from high school. We went to the same college and continued to go to the same church. It should have been an easy transition. I noticed a change maybe two years into college. She never called me anymore. I was the one contacting her constantly and trying to make plans, but they would always fall through. Eventually, I stopped calling, and she never called. Now she’s a stranger to me.
This also happened with a guy I used to date. He never included me in important conversations. We would make plans to talk or get together and his friends would come along or he wouldn’t show. I didn’t feel a part of his life.
What is the point of this post? Well, being on the unimportant end of so many friendships, this is what I have to say:
Make a point to have a give and take relationship. If you notice that you’re never the person to make plans or you never call, maybe you should step up or you may lose a friend. If you realize you’re the giver, take a step back. People who want to be in your life will be there.
If you’re on the receiving end, what I say to you, is try to find your importance on your own. Know that you ARE important and if those around you don’t appreciate your importance, then you deserve better people in your life.
These are just my thoughts.. I dealt with this subject just last week, so it’s feeling a bit fresh.